15 Minutes of Solitude

 

”  Mori  araj suno…….   “

I was  listening to this mesmerizing sufi song by Tina Sani. These lines didn’t come to my mind before in the way  they did today.  Mori araj suno  , listen to my plea.  It was as if someone was  calling me.. from an unknown and secluded place , far off from where I was.

As I started walking back home from the metro station where I got down at 5:45 in the evening after a long day at college , I put on my earphones and  this song started playing.  This is one of my favourite songs , such a soulful track. And for the first time it meant something much more to me.  It was like a call from my inner self , maybe from my mind , to listen to its plea , to listen to what it had to say .

I always liked walking back from the metro station to my home . It takes me 15 minutes to reach. Those are the 15 minutes that I long for. Those 15 minutes of solitude. That is the only time in the entire day that I have to myself. The only time when I am alone.

People who know me , know me as  shy and introvert but a practical person. But inside my head, everyday  there are conflicts which I am trying to deal with , confusions and even anger.  There are times when I don’t know what to do or how to react and all I feel is melancholic. I don’t feel like talking to anyone  and yet I want someone to understand me and talk to me. Sometimes it becomes too frustrating and  all I want is to be left alone.

I have read half way through the book Eat Pray Love as I write this and it has made me realise the importance of being at ease with one’s emotions and  accepting oneself. It is a journey, a search for inner peace and calm. It emphasises on how important it is to spend time with oneself.

And those 15 minutes do just the same for me. It is only today that I realised how well this regime of walking back home every day has helped me. Those are the perfect fifteen minutes.  I enjoy each and every minute of the solitude.  It has been a remedy .

As I walk down the streets every day I see children playing , birds chirping and the pale leaves falling off the trees. And if lucky , I would even spot a peacock  on some days. How quietly it allows me to absorb the beautiful surroundings, how intently it allows me to observe the people around me and how closely it allows me to reflect upon myself.

I think of things that I don’t do otherwise while I am at home or at college. I get to concentrate on myself , it’s almost like meditation where I focus my energy and thoughts on one thing.  It buys me an opportunity to introspect , to look back at the things I did and what I would want to do .

For those 15 minutes my mind is calm. There are no conflicts . And somewhere amidst the hustle bustle of the street I come to peace with myself. Not only does the 15 minute walk refresh my mind but it also makes me immensely happy , the problems vanish and I find myself at peace. Everything just relaxes and eases out.  I am able to attend to the calls and pleas of my inner self.

Those fifteen minutes of solitude are what I yearn for throughout the day. It feels like a place where I belong. The sweet voice of the birds sounds like a homecoming song .

These fifteen minutes feel like hours. And as I reach closer to my destination the chirping of the birds fades away. Time seems to be moving faster. I climb the stairs of my building and  I am greeted by a cute kitten at the stairs . I press the doorbell and I can hear footsteps approaching.  My mom opens the door.

“How was your day ?” she asks.

” A walk to remember !” I say.

 

” Mori araj suno……”